Is Mercury Currently In Retrograde…?

Today, I am reminded that life is precious. This past August, on my way to my law clerkship, my truck started to violently shake while on the highway. My plan, because of my #innerfat girl, was to skip exit 11 and head 1 exit down to hit Bruegger's Bagel place (for a toasted Asiago square bagel with butter and American cheese, two slices, two bagels *please skip right over the last  10 characters* ;'(, yes two bagels #dontjudgeme -___-...) and then to Starbucks for a Grande Salted Mocha Frappucino with Whipped Cream (a total morning caloric nightmare -- I mean, it's almost the daily intake...but who's counting?!*). That was my plan, but Lola Buggy had had enough of me at this point and as she began to rage against the machine that was my hunger; I then started to acquiesce. Am I really about to push her beyond her means right now? Seriously, it was an ominous moment for me. 

See, to understand fully, you must know the love affair that blossomed between Lola Buggy and I. 

I. Loved. My. Truck.

We met on August 22, 2010. She sat there ready for the tow lot to just carry her off into the sunset...no one wanted to nurse her back to health. She was all, "...pick me...love me...choose me..." to no loving avail. But alas, I heard her cries and I answered her calls, cuz her tiny dented little red soul spoke to my heart. 

And off we drove...

So Lola Buggy had some issues, I mean, ya think? She'd only had one owner but she was made in 1996 and had sat unattended for over three and a half years and in Boston! Ok, so that's a combination of 12+ snowy/salty/frigid-infused winters, rainy/dewy/slippery-sogged springs, humid/hot/sweltering summers, and healing/relaxing/ pumpkin-spiced latte'd Falls. Autumn. Just saying the word comforts me. Isn't it literally (yes, literally) like: The. Best. Time. Of. Year. Ever?

But, I digress; #MyB.

Back to Lola's issues: they were aplenty. But she was worth it. That truck took me everywhere I needed to go and certainly a few places I had no business going. Honestly, I can't even believe she lasted as long as she did. It's not like we didn't have some bumps in the road...because, yaaaah uhm...about that #breakdownlife.  

I'm at the station having what I had deemed a pretty kick-arse day, when I opened the little circular door  to add my daily $20 bucks for the round trip ride from home to class and back home again when all of a sudden it hit me (for what hit me keep reading as this was a simultaneous action) and I hadn't even looked at the actual compartment, I just began the whole: GAS-IS-HOW-MUCH-A-GALLON and YOU-HAVE-GOT-TO-BE-KIDDING-ME inner soul rant and filling the tank with gas, when all of a sudden (see, here it is, as promised) gas was spilling everywhere! But why…?

If you know me at all, then you know exactly what I did at this point: I pushed the unattached pipe back into place and promptly bursted into a ridiculous amount of laughter and tears, lol. I didn't know if I was upset and finally off my rocker, like in its complete and finally form or if it was just THAT funny, I'm still not sure about that one either, truth be told, lol. After which I texted my peeps the above pictures with a notation that Lola better get me through the bulk of law school (and she did) and #dontjudgeme. It took every molecule in me not to quit school and return to the working world. And I mean, EVERY solitary thing.  That was somewhere around 2012.

Stories abound. That time when she went all Dukes of Hazard on me…that time when the muffler just decided to let go, that time when the metal rod fell from the roof's interior, into my lap, whilst driving and to this day, I still have no idea exactly where it came from...

Back to the infamous day in question, so because I am more used to breaking down than I should be, at my level of age and intelligence, I decided to get off the highway and take my little self to the **fob. This of course meant that I was no longer driving the requisite 65mph (this will have massive meaning later).  Off the highway and onto the byway, I'm cruising toward Dorchester Ave at about 20mph when I stop at the red light at the four-way traffic section in Lower Mills. Light turns green, I'm the first car so, it's all a go….I turn right onto the two-way, one lane Dot Ave and accelerate to possibly 10mph when Lola decides right then and there that she has had enough of me and all of my abusive ways (see Maxine in the Waiting to Exhale movie #GetYoShytGetYoShyt)!  The truck simultaneously lifted, fishtailed into the left lane (no traffic at all at 8:20 a.m.) and kicked off the back driver's side tire! The tire popped right off the truck in the middle of the street, like the cork from an awesome bottle of Pio Cesare Barolo (I miss being able to afford such red wine luxuries ;-(, soon come…) and proceeded to land first on the hood of and then up the window and to the roof of a little blue-haired lady's little old Honda-something, who was on her way to wherever pretty little blue-haired seniors go at the crack of dawn….and then down to the front, yes the FRONT of an apartment in the nearby Chocolate factory. That's a pretty long route to roll.

Meanwhile back at Ranch Crazyville (i.e. the inside of said Lola Buggy…) I was tripping tf out.  I did not know what to do first. Everything in me was on level SERIOUSLY?! So I sat there for about 20 seconds shaking when my cell rings, it's my mother. Of course, it's my mother, who else would feel my life like almost end? I literally almost lost my life y'all, on August 25, 2014. I mean, do you get that? I'm not being dramatic or unrealistic which I am wont to do, at any given moment, some necessary others, not so much…but this was beyond even my imagination and as you can see (…read?) my imagination is vast. I tell her what happened and keep in mind, I am in the middle of the street still. I'm all, "I don't even know what to do right now…", so she starts trippin' (you know my mother) and then because I have now put her into crisis mode, my soul who had jumped out of my body to inspect the truck was now standing at the window asking if it was ok for her to resume her spot because I was all Johhny Blazzin' it in my psyche and my chakras were totally misaligned and seriously, she essenced, we had things to do. I get back to my self, or my self gets back to me, somewhat. You know how it is when your soul leaves your body and has to get back to that comfortable spot? Yeah, that.

Handle. Business. First.  Then call the kids. Then find a way to campus. Then call the sQuad (Felicia, Ingrid, Angie, Edwinna). Then text everyone that I love, that I love them. No need for deets, not these kind of deets, not like Right Now, like, it was at 8:30 a.m. and they were all at work themselves, or on their way or with their babies. (Hi Sophia the Sassy and Nate the Great!)

I call my ***foss to explain that but for my tire popping off and my potentially accidental survival, I so would have been on time.  Ok. Pause. I did not explain the above planned deviation at this time in search of bagels and things of that nature. I mean, did he really need those details, like then? Un-pause.  I told him in all of 26 seconds what had occurred, he asked if I was ok and then all of the requisite personal injury questions of the profession, always the attorney, and I replied in kind, still shaking. I needed off this call.  Stay there we are on our way, to which I understood.  I point this out because I do not remember anything said specifically before or after. I pressed end, knowing that all necessary calls had been taken care of (mom called me, I called the office, the office made the necessary calls for towing, etc) and that the office saviors would be there in less than five minutes and then I promptly burst loudly and deeply into 20 seconds of thankful to be alive tears.  People then surrounded the car (one guy had run down to retrieve the wheel), told me they couldn't believe the truck didn't flip over, that the wheel hitting the Honda of old blue-eyes surprisingly caused no damage, that little Blue refused to move her car until she knew that I was "ok in there", and that I was lucky to be alive.

You. Ain't. Never. Lied.

I'm gonna need you to not notice that I was holding up the rear bumper with a pulley type mechanism. I was met with a bit of a conundrum, either fix the bumper of a truck that may or may not get me through the winter for a few hundred bucks or a pulley-holder mechanism for $2.99 that does the same job. You. Do. The. Math. (Speaking of math, I'm thinking it's time I gave a lesson in coupon clipping. Seriously, you will not believe how much money you can save on household necessities: groceries, paper goods, laundry! So that you have extra money for the really important things in life like…BOOKS! -- or savings accounts, blah, blah, blah.)

One of the scariest moments of my life. This changed my entire thought-process.  I say all of this to say that so much has changed in my life since that day. I am not taking another moment for granted. I am not wasting anymore time on the 'what if' possibilities, no more of the 'ok, let's see how this plays out' kind of scenarios.  If it's not going to fit, then it must go. My world; my rule. And if that is unappealing to the masses, so be it. I do appreciate that I will follow when it is necessary and that I will freely give up the reigns, but until such time, and that will take time, it's my way or no way.  Wait. Don't say "my way or the highway," because really, the tow truck guy explained what exactly had occurred.

My tire had been replaced just two-weeks prior by a AAA agent. Apparently, either this agent didn't properly tighten the lug nuts or someone who wants me to join baby Jesus before his dad is ready for my arrival loosened them because they were worn away. He also said, had I been going any faster and in traffic, this incident could have been fatal. 

Ok, if you were not paying attention or you have short-term memory like I do, please re-read the aforementioned this will be important later piece of this diatribe or otherwise remember that ya girl was just ON THE HIGHWAY DRIVING 65MPH OR MORE, IN TRAFFIC, IN BOSTON, DURING RUSH HOUR not two minutes before said incident! #GoodGrief

I. Just. Can't.

So I won't.

I got out of that truck and never got back in again, not even to gather my things. They were sent to me, thankfully. It was hard for me to let Lola go, she helped me get to the grocery store, take my mother wherever she needed to go, pick Sineca up, drop Angel off if he didn't wanna drive his own car, visit Jazz at her little spot, drive to school and back, whereas now I must carpool and walk pretty late from the train, and thank God for that quite honestly, and friends that care because I don't know what I would have done otherwise. I already owe my degree to like a million people, geesh!

But I mean, I was enjoying the morning, listening to Tupac's Thug Life, (****Epiphany!) because you know I rep these streets, I mean being all Legally Black and what-not, handling my Mini-Thug and all, it's kind of my job, so yeah…

I'm thankful to be alive and to continue my hopes and dreams and IG memes, Yaaaaamean?…On some ole one day at a time type ish. But I do miss my Lola Buggy, she served her purpose much longer than anyone expected or deserved and I have no complaints. And like Lola, who had her bumps and bruises along the way, I too, just got tired and gave up…on to the next round.

*Calorie intake 986.
**Fantastic but non-billable place of employment (or fake job for short -- this is my sick way of laughing away the fact that I do not work in this environment, when I so should be!)
***Fantastic but non-boss Boss (or fake boss -- this again, is my non-plussed way of expressing the fact that I am presently unemployed.)
****Was it all my Tupac? #ThugLife!