Sunday, January 30, 2011

All she wanted
was to repay a debt
Yet, received the same hatred and pain.
Pain, as if he never feverishly, in time's past
Whispered
Her name.
Again. And again.

But now they are strangers
Thoughts of hatred day or night
People passing on the rivers
Ruining comfort, darkening light

Love has no gender, no race, and no creed
Love is not selfish, or mean, or at odds with greed.
Even of the heart.
And as much as she fears, this too shall pass.

His actions, so indelicate, so busy
Did not fall on deaf ears, knowing she can't even
Blame it all on him.
I wish they never loved it...
I wish they never turned back the years.

Her voice, it grates, crawls unwanted
Beneath the very essence of his skin
and still
She can't remember where he ends
And where her life is supposed
to begin.
Again.

I did nothing to deserve this.

Give me my heart back.


Can't Be Friends
Trey Songz
"Look what this girl done did to me
she done cut me off from her good good love.
she told me that those days were gone ( gone, gone, gone)
now I'm sitting here going half crazy
cuz I know she still thinks about me too
and it ain't no way in hell, that I can be just friends with you (you, you, you)
And I wish we never did it
And I wish we never loved it
And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now it ain't no way we can be friends.
The way it felt, no faking it
maybe we were moving just a little too fast.
But what we've done we can't take it back (back, back, back)
now im sitting here half way crazy
cuz I know she still thinks about me too
and it ain't no way in hell, that I can be just friends with you (you, you, you)
And I wish we never did it
And I wish we never loved it

And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now it aint no way we can be friends.

And all I can say is
la la la la la la la (laaaaa)
la la la la la la la la la (la la la owwww)
la la la la la la (laaaa)
hey

And I wish we never loved it (I wish we never loved it)
And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and well now it ain't no way we can be friends."
la la la la la la la la laaaaa
la la la la la la la la laaaaa

For all intents and purposes, fortunate or -un, this is my life ;-)~ Aisis

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I think (or thought, as it were), therefore, I am.

Last night I prayed.
At 2:47 AM.
Heavily.
Wholeheartedly.
Desperately.

...because I am thankful and I needed to talk to God.

Ever since I was a 9-year old little girl, attending Law School and becoming an Attorney, was but a dream. Lord, if I am worthy, let it be your will. And until recently, it was a flight of fancy. Me? Ayesha. Moore? A practicing attorney…at Law?

Yeah.

Ok.


Last night I prayed.
At 2:47 AM.
Eagerly.
Purposely.
Deeply.

...because I am grateful for his grace and I needed to praise Him.

So often people make requests, and I took pains Not to inquire and even within my carefully chosen words, I did ask. I bargained for a clearer path, I appealed for a more mature mind, I advocated my need to be a better person, a much better person, a less-selfish, more giving, understanding, human being. I am not perfect, I make many many mistakes and I truly suffer for them, if that is of any consolation, to anyone I have wronged.

And I know you are out there, somewhere.

Reading between these *learned lines.

Last night I prayed.
At 2:47 AM.
Inwardly.
Outwardly.
Intently.

...because I had an overwhelming need to express my gratitude; weep my appreciation.

Climbing out of the pain, I promised a focused mind and a thankful soul, reassuring Him that these were the reasons for my call. Promises. Not broken. I will not be broken. In spite of it all.

I declared financial victory standing firm, head held high to the boundaries that must be overcome. I put forth my plan, took a leap of faith and claimed the win. I learned my lesson and I secured His forgiveness. I am elevated.

Still waters.

But...last night, I prayed and I prayed hard.
At 2:47 AM.
Powerfully.
Fully.
Justly.

...and then I studied, again, for the hour infinitum, until 4:47 AM, just to get it right, to make sure that when my Law Professor (faint!) points to me and forces me to stand, speak my name and give an affirmative answer, a Yes or a No, nothing in between, nothing on the fence, I will be, if not correct, at least prepared. I prayed, not because I want to attend Law School, but because I am attending Law School.

And ready, I am.





For all intents and purposes, fortunate or –un, this is my Life ;-)~. Aisis

(This signature, created years and years ago, has more meaning, right now, in this place, than anyone will ever know.)



*learned (lur-nid): well-read, academic, cultured.

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